WRONG. Four.
“Shit! I should have got that one! I did ask for eight but they never fucking listen to me anyway!”
How do you look back on that time?
“It was exciting and new. I was young and it felt like the realisation of your childhood dream, but it had its ups and downs. I had a month of intrusive thoughts on loop in my head. It was just stress and where my brain went.
“For example, I thought I was gay for a week because I’d split up with a girl and was heartbroken and couldn’t work out why I’d fucked it up. That was in the back of my mind, so I thought I was gay! [Laughs] I remember going out in London, and looking at fellers, thinking: ‘If I’m gay, I must fancy him’, before crying in a club’s toilet because I didn’t fancy them.
“Looking back, I could give the standard answer of ‘I really enjoyed myself’ – which I did most of the time – but that meteoric rise to fame brings out weird things that most people don’t talk about.”
“I’m guessing it begins with an F and ends in a D?”
WRONG. Although Franz Ferdinand’s self-titled debut album did pip ‘Who Killed…… The Zutons?’ to the 2004 Mercury Prize. Keane won the BRIT accolade.
“I knew Franz Ferdinand beat us at one thing! I met CeeLo Green at Coachella years ago, and he thought I was the singer Tom Chaplin from Keane! He goes: ‘I know your shit man! You’re in Keane, motherfucker!’. The girl I was with tried to tell him I was in The Zutons, and I said: ‘Just let it go – this is brilliant’, ‘cause he was convinced.
“He was dead small, like a little barrel, and him and his mates all had white jeans on, with their tops off, and covered in gun tattoos. They were all shaped like him – about 5ft-wide and 3-ft big. It was intense! I was staring at his AK-45 tattoo while he was praising my work in Keane! [Laughs]”
“Hmmm…My Chemical Romance? No? The Killers? I’m losing this one!”
WRONG. It was Panic! at the Disco.
“Well, that’s a compliment, thank you very much! I’ve never heard it – I’ll check it out.”
Everyone from Louis Tomlinson to er, The Nolans have covered that song…
“The one that blew my mind was Azealia Banks singing a verse of it at Coachella, and both Bruno Mars and Queen Latifah have covered it. It’s got its own life. I don’t look back on it badly at all. Some people wrongly think we were gutted about Amy Winehouse covering it, but we thought it was the best compliment an artist could give us. You can’t fake her passion for that song.”
“When I was a kid growing up listening to Nirvana and Metallica, I didn’t think I was going to write one of those songs that your auntie sings. It’s a top karaoke song. I’m not complaining. If anything, I’d like to have written more wedding songs. They stand the test of time.”
When you first heard Amy Winehouse’s rendition, did you know it was going to blow up?
“When I first heard her version on the Radio 1 Live Lounge, I thought: ‘Fucking hell, that’s good’, but I didn’t think it would take off. We’d already had a hit with it ourselves, so I didn’t think lightning would strike twice. When she released it and it did what it did, it was crazy.”
“I met Amy three times in my life. Once at the Mercury Prize, once in the Camden boozer The Hawley Arms, and once when I was hanging around with this Brummie lad called Boo, who was a tit. He spent all night comparing me to her, saying: ‘If you’re a 1, she’s a 10’. I thought: ‘OK, I get it, she’s good’. Eventually, I said ‘Look Boo, fuck off being a wanker. You’ve done this for hours and it’s pissing me off’, and Amy turned round and said: ‘Well, you fuck off then!’ to me, because he was her mate.
“So, I walked out of the house in the strop, and she followed me and pleaded: ‘Please come back. I’m sorry I told you to fuck off. I really like that song’ [‘Valerie’]. We went back in and carried on drinking.”
“I’ve got a lot to thank Amy Winehouse for, but I’ve also got a lot to thank Boo for because if he wasn’t being a wanker, we wouldn’t have got talking about the song and I don’t think she would have covered it. So thanks Boo – he made me a 10! [Laughs]”
“Fucking Plan B!”
CORRECT. Plan B’s ‘She Said’ includes the lyric: ‘And I’m saying all this in the stand/While my girl cries tears in the gallery/This has got bigger then I ever could have planned/Like that song by the Zutons, ‘Valerie’’.
“Is he trying to say we’re shit or is it a backward compliment? He was doing an album [‘The Defamation of Strickland Banks‘] in the style of Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson and the Dap-Kings, and he’s saying The Zutons’ ‘Valerie’ is a bigger song than it ever ought to be? Maybe I’m being a paranoid wanker, but it puzzled me.
“I’m not saying he’s a c*** – but he might be! [Laughs] I didn’t get it, so I messaged him on Twitter saying ‘Thanks for the mention’, and I didn’t receive a reply, so I thought he must think we’re shit! [Laughs]”.
“There’s ‘Oh Stacey (Look What You’ve Done!)’, ‘Valerie’, ‘Pauline’ off the new album [‘The Big Decider’] and…there isn’t another one, is there?”
WRONG. You missed April from ‘April Fool’, the B-side to ‘Valerie’.
“Fucking hell! I forgot about that! What a song!”
“Boy George and two of Duran Duran.”
CORRECT. Boy George, and Duran Duran frontman Simon Le Bon and keyboardist Nick Rhodes. Alas, no Chesney Hawkes!
“Mark’s got a good sense of humour. When I said that to him, he thought I was taking the piss but I’m like: ‘I look like the fucking feller from [the 1991 film] The Commitments. You look like Chesney Hawkes!’ He’s not remembered well, but he was a good-looking guy!”
What are your memories of writing ‘The Bike Song’ (featuring Kyle Falconer from The View) with Chesney…sorry, Mark… in New York?
“I kept asking him and his mates in the studio: ‘Have you got a bike?’, ‘cause I wanted to live the New York dream of riding over the Brooklyn Bridge, but everyone said no. While Mark was recording vocals and his band was playing poker, I just wrote it there and then as a joke, but when I played it, his band turned round and said they liked the song. We didn’t think Mark would like it, but he did.
“I’d taken lots of songs over, but ‘The Bike Song’ was better and spontaneous. I remember taking Mark to see Devo and buying all their merch. The next day, we were all wearing the Energy Domes in the studio!”
“His garden.”
CORRECT. His back garden in Heswall, Wirral.
“Some of the band weren’t keen on the idea until I pointed out the Foo Fighters did it not long before us. But it was strange. People were saying ‘Mind the flowers!’. Bizarre!”
“I remember I had a bear outfit on that he gave me to wear – the bastard! He didn’t want to be outshined [Laughs]. We played a fuck-load of slightly mad pop songs they’d written that sounded like Justin Timberlake that you’ll never hear – and they’re all really good. I think they should record them for their next album, but I can’t remember our band name.”
WRONG. He quipped that you were called Zed And The Wankfish.
“Nice one! It was in Strasbourg and it was hot in the bear outfit which stank because it was from The Coral’s ‘Dreaming of You’ video, and I had a curtain rail around me. My guitar wasn’t even plugged in, and we played a medley of songs at the end.”
“I owe a lot to The Coral. They got me interest from Deltasonic, who signed us, so I’m forever in their debt. In the beginning when we supported them, they made us raise our game because there was no better live band around.”
You and The Coral were part of a scene NME dubbed ‘Shroomadelica’. Ever do magic mushrooms with them?
“No. Fuck that! I like to go naked on the mushrooms, so I can’t do that in public. I’ve been clean as a whistle [sober] for three years and I’m on the program, so sometimes I microdose mushrooms now because it helps with anxiety and depression. Seeing as we’re in the age of fucking anxiety and fear, maybe mushrooms need to make a comeback!”8
Was it The Libertines or Babyshambles? It was Pete Doherty in some form.”
CORRECT. After Babyshambles failed to show at Oasis’ previous Southampton gig, they were replaced by you.
“Liam Gallagher is fucking hilarious. He’s like a dead funny uncle. Noel’s just as funny, but not as boisterous. I’ve had a bevvy with Liam and he’s like Jonathan Ross in that he turns anything you say into a joke to make you feel at ease. You’re thinking: ‘Go on, rip the fuck out of me more because this is funny’.”
“Russell Brand, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs, Athlete – there’s a blast from the past!”
CORRECT.
“The Beatles producer/sound engineer Geoff Emerick was a bit like that feller off Wallace and Gromit, but he was a proper whizz. He told me I wasn’t being sarcastic enough when singing ‘Good Morning Good Morning’, because it’s about someone who lives in the suburbs but wants to live back in the city. I didn’t realise it was such a dark song, and he got a better performance out of me.”
Did Paul McCartney ever give you any reaction to your cover?
“No, but we supported him at Liverpool’s Anfield Stadium in 2008. As he was telling us he liked our song ‘Always Right Behind You’, someone interrupted with a bouquet of flowers for him from Chrissie Hynde. To which Paul replied: ‘WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE FOR CHRISSIE HYNDE?!’ [Laughs].
“It was very un-McCartney – it was almost Evil McCartney! My ma was drunk and getting her picture taken with everyone, including Dave Grohl. As I was trying to keep her away, Paul said: ‘Come on, your mum still has to meet Yoko Ono!’, and gave me a wink. He saw how much of a handful she was being and thought he’d direct some of that chaos towards Yoko. He was being Dark McCartney in the best way! [Laughs]”
“Strangle, drown, stab, asphyxiation, fire – I’m trying to think of the worst ways to die! [Laughs]”
WRONG. Your head is chopped off with an axe, former bassist Russell Pritchard is run over by a car, saxophonist Abi Harding is suffocated, and drummer Sean Payne and former guitarist Boyan Chowdhury are pushed off a building. Cheery!
“That video was shot in an old, abandoned kids’ hospital which was like Most Haunted. Fires had been lit and pentagrams drawn. It was fucking horrible, and I didn’t hang around long!”
Bonus question! For an extra half-point: in 2005, The Zutons were the final ever band to face Popworld’s ‘The Big Ones’. Can you remember any of the nonsensical questions that host Simon Amstell asked you?
“He asked Boyan: ‘Tell us about your moustache’.”
CORRECT. Among others, you could have also had: “Do you know anyone called Hans?’, Is there any way back for Benjamin Netanyahu?’, ‘Who in The Zutons is the spunkiest?’, and ‘Favourite bit of the Bible?’.
“I just remember Simon kept asking Boyan to lick his moustache. Credit to him, he never licked it once. Even I wanted Boyan to lick his moustache by the end, because Simon kept on asking him so many times!”
“I thought I’d do better! I’m going to have to live with that score, but these things happen!”
The Zutons’ album ‘The Big Decider’ is released on April 26, with the band heading out on a UK tour that month. You can read an NME interview about the process of recording their first record in 13 years and working with producer Nile Rodgers here.
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